Hopleus the Taraxippus!

Penny 0:00

Hi, I'm Penny Cephalonia. And you're listening to the Gorgon show. How was that?

Johann 0:06

Don't podcasts always open with music? Where's the music?

Penny 0:12

This is the first episode. Um...I can't afford music yet.

Johann 0:18

We could hiss a tone for you. Hiss hiss hiss hissssss.

Penny 0:24

That's okay, Johann. You don't have to.

Forbes 0:28

If I hiss something... Do I get paid?

Penny 0:32

Forbes? You are a snake on my head. Where would you even keep the money?

Forbes 0:39

I got people.

Penny 0:41

Okay, Johann, Forbes. Thank you. I'm gonna try a different opening now. Hi, you're listening to the Gorgon Show, a podcast about being a monster in a human world. I'm your host, Penny Cephalonia. And I'm a Gorgon.

Johann 0:58

Hiss hiss hiss hisssss

Penny 1:03

Thanks, Johann, that that's not really necessary. I've already got one advertiser. I'll get music soon.

Johann 1:11

Ooh can I compose it? And conduct an orchestra? Wait, I don't have arms. Could you conduct it for me?

Forbes 1:21

There's a lot of money in writing music. I want producer credit.

Penny 1:28

I'm going to introduce our first guest now. Okay. Remember what we talked about?

Duncan 1:32

Donuts!

Penny 1:34

No, Duncan. No, we didn't talk about donuts.

Forbes 1:39

Can we? Talk about the title of the show first because I don't know about the Gorgon Show. I can't see it on a t shirt. Know what I mean? It's all about merch, gotta sell that merch. Let's workshop this.

Penny 1:54

What? No, no, I'm a Gorgon. It's the Gorgon Show.

Forbes 2:00

I'm thinking My Serpent My Serpent and Me.

Johann 2:04

Oooh how about, Wait Wait, Don't Hiss Me.

Forbes 2:10

Or, you know 99% Monsters the Hidden World Monsters, or oooh, Stone Cold Killers a Gorgon True Crime podcast, there's a lot of money in crime podcasts, Penny

Penny 2:26

What the Hades? Forbes? This is a talk show. And it's the Gorgon show. Now can I please introduce my guest and talk to my guest uninterrupted? We agreed that you wouldn't talk during the guest segment.

Johann 2:40

Can we sing to the guests?

Penny 2:44

No.

Forbes 2:45

Can we take their money?

Penny 2:48

Definitely not.

Duncan 2:50

Donuts?

Penny 2:52

How about I get you all some doughnuts if you stay quiet during the guest segment.

Duncan 2:57

Donuts!

Forbes 2:58

I'm open to bribery.

Johann 3:00

I will compose a song about donuts quietly in my head.

Penny 3:05

Thanks all. Okay, our first guest. He's

Sibyl 3:11

Hey, roomie. Hi. Is it time for my horoscope yet?

Penny 3:16

Hi, um. Sybil, Sybil. No, trying to introduce our guest. We're gonna do the guests first and then and then your horoscope as we promised.

Sibyl 3:28

Are you sure? I feel like you don't want to keep your listeners waiting for what is clearly going to be their favorite part.

Penny 3:35

Um, I am I am as sure as I can be. But you, you know what? You're the Oracle. So why don't you go and have a vision and maybe see if this is the best way to go about things, you know, somewhere else?

Sibyl 3:53

That sounds good. I'll go ahead and get started. You know, mixing my moon dust and Everclear. So my visions are nice and fresh when it's time.

Penny 4:01

Yes, yes. That's, that's going to be great. I feel it in in my bones.

Sibyl 4:09

Alright, as long as you're trusting your third eye, you know, that's what I'm all about.

Penny 4:14

I have a bunch of snakes on my head. I have so many eyes.

Sibyl 4:19

This is true. Yeah, I can. I can see them all in my third eye. So okay, well, good luck with the guest. I can absolutely see that this is going to be a very interesting interview. So have fun.

Penny 4:33

Interesting. Okay. Thank you so much for that vote of confidence. Okay, Sybil. I'll see you soon.

Sibyl 4:39

All right soon.

Penny 4:41

Okay, I'm ready to introduce our very first guest on our very first podcast. I'm so very excited to introduce you...Hopleus! Hopleus. Hi. Welcome to the Gorgon show.

Hopleus 4:55

Hello. Thank you very much for having me. This is very nice.

Penny 4:59

Thank you so much for being here. This is just all about us talking about how we move in a world full of humans. And I have to say, I'm extra excited to have you as my first guests because, well, some of us are very obvious. For example, my fellow Gorgons and myself, we have snakes on our head, it's pretty obvious that we are monsters.

Hopleus 5:24

I couldn't I couldn't help but notice the snakes on the head. Yes. Yeah.

Penny 5:28

Yeah. They are my friends. And they've agreed to be quiet, and I will buy them doughnuts for being quiet. Good job snakes. So for monsters and cryptids, who are a little less obvious, I really want to dive deep into what your world is like. So first of all, if you had to explain what you were to a human, or to another monster like myself, that my apologies, I did not know you existed, even though we have a Greek background in common. If you had to explain yourself, how would you describe you?

Hopleus 6:05

Well, I funny you should mention not obvious and explain myself to humans as I am a Taraxippus or a horse disturber as some people might find it easier to understand. I actually was human. I'm a spirit. Yes, yeah. In life. I probably wouldn't have been able to look at your snakes or appear on your show here. But

Penny 6:27

not before the invention of sunglasses. Yeah. Well,

Hopleus 6:31

yeah, I was a lapith, we were a clan of horsemen heroes, and well, now I'm a spirit that spooks horses I terrify horses in the hopes that they will buck their riders off to their death, hopefully, that's that's the goal.

Penny 6:49

Okay. Okay. That's that's an interesting goal. Why do you think you became that kind of spirit was because of your connections with horses? In reality? Did you piss off a god? Or is this something you always aspired to be in the afterlife?

Hopleus 7:05

Well, I didn't aspire to be it. But I can't act like it's not my choice. Like I like, really, really? What's the difference between me and any other ghosts? The differences is i i spook horses. It's it's kind of become my brand as as there's that horse connection. When I was alive in ancient Greece, I, I don't know if you'd be familiar with this. I don't know if your family ever told you. We'd do these funeral games whenever somebody somebody passes away to honor them. And--

Penny 7:35

I read about it. My grandparents never really talked much about the old country. But I've read about this.

Hopleus 7:40

Well, well at the funeral games. If you've got a lapith present we're excellent with horses, so you might as well have a little little chariot race. Unfortunately, I would learn that we Taraxippoi love that shit. Because when you terrify a horse rider at a funeral, that's death at a funeral. That's, that's funnier than the first guy dying. So I died on an easy corner. And I'm a lapith. So I was like, so pissed. And so rather than go down to the underworld, I sort of just forced myself to materialize as a ghost because I was ready to yell at my horse. And then I saw that there was a horse disturber there. I got horse disturbed. And yeah, me and him are not friends.

Penny 8:22

Mm hmm. So even in the afterlife, you have not-mortal enemies?

Hopleus 8:28

Yes, yes. Immortal enemies.

Penny 8:33

Fascinating. Fascinating. Do you feel that humans since the time you became a horse disturber Do you feel that humans are aware of your presence and has it changed? Over the centuries?

Hopleus 8:49

I think there was a bit of a curve to it humans humans. When I die, humans were not very aware of horse disturbers. But I kind of contributed to the awareness as whenever I would catch somebody making fun of me, like Oh, Hopleus the lapith died of being bucked off a horse. I'd wait around a dark corner and terrify their horse. And you know, just shortly after, you know, they get trampled to death under their own horses hooves. There's me there and I'm like, ha ha. You got trampled. Eventually people caught on that something was going on.

Penny 9:23

Oh, so they started to take notice.

Hopleus 9:25

Yes.

Penny 9:25

Is what you're saying.

Hopleus 9:26

Yeah.

Penny 9:27

Okay. Revenge revenge. Is it that it'll do that? Okay.

Hopleus 9:31

In the modern age, though, in the modern age, though. There's not a whole lot of horses. So not a whole lot of disturbance. It would be great if there were more horses but people didn't know about us.

Penny 9:41

Well, have you ever traveled to places that are horse focused, for example, here in the United States, the state of Kentucky there's a lot of horses and they have their their famous horse race and horse races across the country. England, the current queen of England--

Hopleus: 10:02

K e n? T UCKY?

Penny: 10:04

Kentucky. K-E-N--

Hopleus: 10:05

What is this? This? Okay, where is this? They say there's a horse race you say like some sort of some games?

Penny: 10:11

I am I am now possibly regretting my choice to tell you about this place. They have a famous horse race every year called the Kentucky Derby. It's part of a three Race Set called the triple crown. Yeah, the Preakness and oh, it starts with a B. Oh my goodness. When was the last time I was at the track? Anyway, the Kentucky Derby. It's a very famous horse race here in the United States. And, well, I wouldn't recommend spooking horses running that fast. But then again, it might be a little fun for you to fuck with them. I'll leave that up to you. But definitely there's some there are some horse focused places here in the United States. If you ever want to explore your horse disturbing

Hopleus: 10:56

That is excellent. It's just been so long since I've disturbed a race. Normally I just lurk and wait for any of those. Those Those men in blue riding on a horse and I just spook them.

Penny: 11:06

Oh, you mean the police?

Hopleus: 11:08

Yes

Penny: 11:08

I am totally down with that area of your focus. But if you ever wanted to step it up, sometimes the horses in the races are are abused by their riders and can you disturb a horse in a way that doesn't hurt the horse?

Hopleus: 11:24

Oh, I...that is a misconception. I disturbe the horses. I'm not I'm not a horse killer. I'm a horse disturber! It's funny to scare a horse. I'm not gonna pretend like I don't think it's funny to hear like the whinny of a surprised horse. But the real punch line is the rider falling to his death. The horse being fine. I love horses.

Penny: 11:42

Okay. Yeah. Okay, good. You know what that's that's important to know. We don't want there to be Myths About Us mythological creatures. We're already mythological enough!

Hopleus: 11:56

Exactly, exactly.

Penny: 11:58

Well, that's very good that you care about the horses. So yeah, to focus on horse abusers, or those who use horses to abuse innocents. I am I am down with that this got dark. And yet, I'm surprisingly happy. Thank you. Now tell me, you can't possibly disturb horses 24 hours a day. Then again? Maybe you could, I don't know much about your kind. But what is a typical day in the life of Hopleus like, oh, hooray, they're blowing leaves outside my window. How delightful. If they're on horses, I might just need to summon you. Anyway, what's a typical day in the life of Hopleus the Taraxippus like?

Hopleus: 12:42

Well, you are correct. I can't spend all my time disturbing horses, especially now, however, I am a spirit with a very specific dominion? I, where once I might have had the freedom to do whichever i i now have very specific power around corners and over horses. So I mostly appear at street corners and tunnels and sort of loiter about. But once once when radios were first becoming widespread, I was standing on a street corner waiting for a horse to pass by when I heard a horse, but I didn't see one! The horse was inside. And I was like what, who? Who would be so silly as to put a horse inside. There's so many walls, so many corners for me to disturb them. And I went up there and it wasn't a real horse. There was it was an episode of The Lone Ranger and I, yes, they recorded a horse and made it seem like he was there with the Lone Ranger. And so I just sort of got really into those radio plays. And even today, when I'm waiting for a horse, I'm usually listening to some sort of audio drama.

Penny: 13:44

Oh, that's, that's wonderful. I'm glad you figured that out. Hi ho Silver. So when you're not disturbing horses and not listening to audio dramas, how do you fill your after lifetime?

Hopleus: 13:55

Well, we kick it with other horse disturbers. Other spirits. See how they're going. You know, there's there's some, there's some nasty characters that I don't like to associate, you know, if you're going to if you're going to be a poltergeist, it's very funny to spook people directly by throwing a teacup or something. But for some reason, it squicks me out anybody that kills directly. So normally, normally, I'm hanging out with more low key spirits

Penny: 14:20

Low key and it sounds like just killing, for example, a human directly. Well, that just shows a lack of imagination and creativity.

Hopleus: 14:28

Exactly, exactly. Rube Goldberg I love I love setting up those Rube Goldberg machines. I don't I never use them. I never use them. But a poltergeist once explained the whole thing to me. So sometimes I'll just set them up and watch them go.

Penny: 14:40

Oh, that's fantastic. For anyone who is not familiar with Rube Goldberg devices. I'm going to advise you to google it. Google and the ability to search for information. I have to give humans that one. They're pretty awesome at that. I learned a lot about myself by googling myself, but not in public because it's already difficult enough being a Gorgon in a human world. Now, because I'm a Gorgon, who's very interested in humans, I love going to the movie theater because I can sit in the dark and be with humans and participate in a human activity without turning any of them accidentally to stone. I absolutely love movies. Are there any movies about horses or any topic that you really enjoy watching? Are you able to go into movie theaters and watch movies?

Hopleus: 15:31

You know, I wonder sometimes as it was the the call of a horse that that they called me into that house for the radio play even though there was no horse I haven't personally I haven't personally seen a whole lot of movies. But whenever there's a new horse movie, I'm able to make myself manifest obviously not to other not the people, but I'm able to see so the Black Stallion, the young Black Stallion, spirit stallion of the Cimarron,

Penny: 15:58

so many stallion movies Yes, I rather enjoyed the riders of Rohan in The Lord of the Rings films. I thought their horse work was just spectacular and they obviously loved their horses. If you were a part of the Lord of the Rings universe, do you think you would disturb their horses? Or would you just go after those fucking Nazgul

Hopleus: 16:20

it would be very interesting to try to disturb a Nazgul it what is what is what is it besides a horse of the sky? Surely I should be allowed to to disturb it right

Penny: 16:29

right. Like they ride horses on land and they they ride fell beasts, I believe are their flying creatures and they themselves are of the spirit realm. I'm very glad they're not real is what I'm saying. Unlike us, who are very real

Hopleus: 16:44

exceptionally real. Yes, there will be certain things are very terrifying. come from the human imagination blows blows my mind right?

Penny: 16:52

It's, they call us monsters. Oh, they're so fun. So what is the most hilarious horse disturbing that you have done? What just makes you giggle when you think about it.

Hopleus: 17:06

I think the most interesting horse disturbing than I've ever done was when I disturbed a horse outside of in a way that seems maybe against the rules. I'm still trying to litigate this one. Have you ever heard of the Oregon Trail?

Penny: 17:20

I have heard of the Oregon Trail when I was in a human High School? Yes, yes.

Hopleus: 17:25

`Yes. And well many of them traveled in wagon trains to head to to Oregon

Penny: 17:30

and in many died of dysentery.

Hopleus: 17:34

You know, we laugh we laugh but I did know some people who died from dysentery back in my day. We still didn't make fun of them nearly as much as I was made fun of so

Penny: 17:43

yeah, it's not a good way to go. I'm sorry for your loss. So the Oregon Trail what does this have to do with a funny moment in horse disturbing

Hopleus: 17:51

All sorts of beasts were used to pull their wagon trains the covered wagons? Yes, but they wouldn't always travel straight on land there was one such occasion where I watch as somebody caulked up they caulked up their wagon pulled some pulled some caulk out

Penny: 18:06

oh right on the Oregon Trail just pulling out their cock okay didn't know that happened

Hopleus: 18:10

Oh, Penny No, no, it's it's it's it's a device to to waterproof that wagon. Oh, no, no.

Penny: 18:17

Oh, okay. That makes a lot more sense.

Hopleus: 18:20

I can tell you about the naked horse disturbing I've done before though.

Penny: 18:23

Oh, perhaps for for the Gorgon Show after dark

Hopleus: 18:26

But once they intended to have the horses pull the wagon across a shallow area and I there was no corner what the horses horses are not supposed to be. I don't think a horse is comfortable in water. So I figured I'd give it an extra push. So I popped up in the middle I normally spook them. I just I just pop up and I go Boo!, because horses are very skittish. It's so it's so easy to terrify a horse. So there I go. I go. Boo. The horses buck the entire wagon. The whole wagon into the ocean like a shipwreck. My friends were calling me charybdis. My friends were calling me charybdis because I made a shipwreck which is we're not supposed to be able to do that.

Penny: 19:04

No, no, no. Scylla and charybdis. They're a whole different breed of monsters! Oh my goodness. They were they were all wet. I'm sure they deserved it. Or maybe not. But it's still funny.

Hopleus: 19:18

It's still funny.

Penny: 19:19

Oh my goodness. Do you have inside jokes about humans? Do you ever joke about these humans and and how they treat horses or each other? I love them but they're also Oh goodness. They're funny

Hopleus: 19:34

horse disturbers, Taraxippoi, we don't we don't have too many inside jokes, but sorry, but you got me. You've got to thinking about my family from when I was alive.

Penny: 19:42

I'm sorry if that's painful.

Hopleus: 19:43

It is but this is a this is a happy happy memory.

Penny: 19:46

Oh good.

Hopleus: 19:46

I am I'm a lapith, as I said. Our clan. Our clan founder was brothers of Centaurus, the Centaurs so the Centaurs are practically family. Oh, we had a wedding once between some members of our family which is perfect. perfectly acceptable in those days we were different to different clans. My my cousin, the Centaur Amicus he got quite drunk once and he started pretending that he was just a regular guy on a horse but his horse was like decapitated. And he just be like, oh goodness. Oh no. And he'd have all day walking up to people drunk just Oh, no falling it was it was, the look on his face. I think that's what I'm think that's what I'm trying to capture. To be honest. Every single time I terrify somebody, I terrify somebody's horse and bucks them off. I'm looking to see that look on their face. I want to see my cousin, my cousin Amicus, again, in the dying moments of that rider.

Penny: 20:39

It's it's good to have goals. Are you ever able to manipulate modern human technology? For example, a smartphone? Are you able to take pictures of those moments of AAAAH on their face and maybe posted to Instagram?

Hopleus: 20:55

I'm unsure. I've been able to set up my Rube Goldberg machines before as as as a little bit of being a poltergeist. But I wouldn't know the first thing about cell phones. But you're you're young and hip. Do you think you could help me set up an uh...

Penny: 21:08

I could try? I'm only a few 100 years old, perhaps I could try. I for one would love to see faces of terrified humans on Instagram. Like I said, I love them. But they're also funny.

Hopleus: 21:21

Is that not what Facebook is? Is that Facebook? You're saying Instagram, not Facebook.

Penny: 21:25

Instagram, Facebook, I believe they're even owned by the same company. Now, the humans they keep coming up with so many amazing technologies. There's also YouTube and tiktok. Oh my goodness, I believe videos of people falling off spooked horses would make a good tiktok. Perhaps we can talk about that after the show. I will, as they say, hook you up. Yeah, I have found that human technology is just fascinating.

Hopleus: 21:52

There is one piece of technology that I don't directly manipulate but I have become very thankful for this modern age.

Penny: 21:59

Well, what is that?

Hopleus: 22:00

There are not that many horses, which is why I was so excited to hear about Ken tuki but for a time I tried to spook cars automobiles, they're very stoic. They don't scare very easy

Penny: 22:11

No, no

Hopleus: 22:12

But I have found that the the self driving cars now those spook excellently.

Penny: 22:18

Oh, is that you?

Hopleus: 22:20

That's me. Yes. So my friends, we we came to realize that self driving cars will spook just as easily as a horse again, normal automobile, very stoic, but if there's no if hands are off the wheel well, it's going to feel my wrath.

Penny: 22:34

Fascinating. Well, I had no interest in ever driving anything like a Tesla to begin with, but I certainly won't now.

Hopleus: 22:43

I'll get you!

Penny: 22:44

Yeah, okay. All right. Watch out Tesla drivers. Oh, they're all assholes, anyway. I love most humans most of the time. Okay, so in this difficult time in this world, and it's a difficult time for humans and it's a difficult time for monsters. It's always a difficult time for monsters, but it's a difficult time for all of us. What what has been getting you through these times?

Hopleus: 23:11

Truthfully what gets me through these difficult times is my fellow Taraxippoi, I have been searching for the look on my cousin Amicus's face as I do miss the family that I had the big Clan of the lapith in the clan of the centaurs. But with with fewer horses and fewer people going out in general in these in these times. It has it has afforded me more of an opportunity to speak to those like me to those that I like, I've never lost that sense of community. Yes,

Penny: 23:35

That's beautiful community is so important. I too have a wonderfully supportive community of Gorgons that has helped so much. Despite this, what is it that you still fear? You're a spirit. Do you fear anything?

Hopleus: 23:51

That's that's a big question. That's a big question, Penny. Well, I suppose my my fear is always just What if people stop riding horses? Oh, what am I supposed to do? I can't keep scaring self driving cars it because then I'm just I'm just a vehicular manslaughterer I'm I'm I'm a horse disturber I am what I do,

Penny: 24:11

how would be hard to adapt. I don't think that will ever happen. Humans love horses. If you're not familiar with a theatrical production called Equus. I would recommend you check it out. And for every young teenage human girl horses are everything. I don't think you have to be afraid. I think humans will always love riding horses.

Hopleus: 24:36

I hope I hope you're right Penny because because without horses I turned down Elysium for scaring assholes in tin cans.

Penny: 24:46

I don't think that'll be your fate. However, I am going to ask you one final question and then bring back my roommate and perhaps she will see your future for you, and I bet it will be hopeful if it makes any fucking sense at all. So I will leave you with this last question. What gives you hope?

Hopleus: 25:11

Horse girls,

Penny: 25:12

Horse girls

Hopleus: 25:13

Horse girls give me hope.

Penny: 25:15

They are some of my favorite humans horse girls, the spirit of pony girls,

Hopleus: 25:20

the spirit of the lapiths are in the heart of each and every young girl young boy, the spirit of a horse girl transcends gender. If you care about horses, and you ride a horse, just keep at it and I what keeps me going in the hope that you you achieve your dreams of horseback riding, and one day I can terrify your horse from a corner and watch the look on your face as it tramples you to death.

Penny: 25:44

I think there'll be so many humans who would be so honored to go out that way. I mean, don't go out like a bitch go out on a disturbed horse. Delightful, so Okay, thank you so much. Hopleus as that was i i apologize despite our shared background, I know so little of your kind, but I learned so much and I hope our audience did too. And now let's look into the future. With my delightful roommate, Sybil.

Sibyl: 26:17

Hi, roomie.

Penny: 26:19

Hi, Sybil Sybil This is Hopleus he's a horse disturber

Sibyl: 26:24

Hi Hopleus. Hey you ever hang out at the track?

Hopleus: 26:27

No, but I ought to Hello Sybil

Sibyl: 26:30

Hello! You definitely should I go there all the time. I mean, I have to you know change my what I'm wearing different wigs different glasses. The masks nowadays makes it way easier to hide the fact that I always know who's going to win. If you ever want company going to the track you know, let me know well I'll probably know anyway, but think about it.

Hopleus: 26:52

I will call you upon a smartphone once Penny shows me

Sibyl: 26:56

sounds like a good plan. I can see it now with my third eye

Penny: 26:59

Win place or show, Sybil, win place or show. If you win a lot at the track. Does that mean I don't have to pay rent?

Sibyl: 27:07

No.

Penny: 27:08

I could always hope I could always hope Sibyl. Sibyl, what does the future hold for us all and what does it hold for Hopleus?

Sibyl: 27:15

Well, Hopleus what sign are you?

Hopleus: 27:18

now this is gonna sound rather strange, but I am a Sagittarius.

Sibyl: 27:22

Oh, perfect. It's always good to be on brand right? Then in that case, today, I will start with Sagittarius. Usually I try to go in order. You know, start with Aquarius and all of that. But hey, just for you. I will get started with your sign. And now I have to let the Everclear and Moon Dust kick in and take over and open my third eye.

Penny: 27:45

Okay. Okay. Yep, here we go.

Sibyl: 27:47

Sagittarius, I can see a vivid purple storm, and I see you trying to both fight and ride the storm at the same time. Good luck with that,

Hopleus: 27:59

Like a horse?

Sibyl: 28:00

Yeah, kind of like a horse.

Penny: 28:01

A horsestorm, a purple horse storm?

Sibyl: 28:04

Yep.

Penny: 28:04

What? What does that mean?

Sibyl: 28:06

It'll become clear. Once it happens.

Penny: 28:08

Okay,

Hopleus: 28:09

The storm will clear up. How will I ride it?

Sibyl: 28:11

Oh, no, sorry, the storm won't become clear, the meaning will become clear. So it's

Hopleus: 28:15

So it's not a real it's not a real storm? No, well, it might not gonna get to ride a real horse.

Sibyl: 28:19

It might be for some Sagittarius. I mean, this is part of the issue is that I am trying to see the future of a full 12th of your listeners. And that is a lot of people. So I have to find what all of their futures have in common and distill that into a single vision. So sometimes it's not entirely clear because it's probably going to have little different meanings for every Sagittarius out there.

Penny: 28:43

That's, that's great.

Sibyl: 28:44

Yeah. So let's keep going.

Penny: 28:48

Oh, yes. Welcome. Welcome to metaphor, Hopleus

Sibyl: 28:52

So Capricorn listeners I see you lounging and surrounded by beauty. You're not the beauty but around you. There is a lot of beauty.

Penny: 29:02

But that's that's actually lovely. Still doesn't really make any sense. But that's lovely.

Sibyl: 29:07

Well, it will make sense to some of your listeners and then you know, to others, it'll make sense in the future when it comes true.

Penny: 29:13

Of course,

Sibyl: 29:14

That's the nature of prophecy. You don't always know what it actually means until it happens and then you look back in hindsight is 20/20

Penny: 29:23

Yeah, that really didn't do my ancestor Medusa much good. It's hard to look back when your head's been cut off. I would have preferred a specific prophecy for her just saying, but yes, beauty, sorry, Sybil. Sorry. Continue.

Sibyl: 29:38

All right, Aquarius, Aquarius, I see you, you're tap dancing on very thin ice and I see a glass staircase and a pillar of light it's probably dangerous. So be on the lookout for that thin ice

Penny: 29:53

Okay, so Aquarius, stay away from stairs, and ice and possibly all floors.

Hopleus: 29:59

Perhaps perhaps the stairs are the way out from the ice. But they're made of glass that is treacherous.

Sibyl: 30:06

Yes. Lots of treachery for Aquarius

Penny: 30:08

Stay in bed Aquarius stay in bed,

Sibyl: 30:11

Pisces Pisces. I see you. Oh, it's another pillar of light. That seems to be a theme today that must be the moon dust. I see You sheltered from a pillar of light you are in shadow. So there is some kind of source of light and knowledge and hope and it is not getting to you, so I'm sorry about that. Pisces.

Penny: 30:30

Okay, Pisces. You like Aquarius should just stay in bed.

Sibyl: 30:34

I mean, that's not bad advice for anyone right now.

Penny: 30:37

Yeah, good point. I could always use a good nap. hopless Do you ever nap? Do you have to nap when you're dead?

Hopleus: 30:43

I do not have to nap. But sometimes I do enter a state of repose. If there's if there's no horses about I sort of just fade out.

Penny: 30:52

Well, I'm glad you come back to us. All right, what's after Pisces, Sibyl?

Sibyl: 30:56

That would be Aries. So Aries. I see you on a hilltop and you are both carrying and being carried sweeping yourself off your feet.

Penny: 31:06

Self love. Self love is good. Okay,

Sibyl: 31:09

Yeah, that's one interpretation,

Hopleus: 31:10

But perhaps not in public.

Penny: 31:12

Oh goodness, no. Or on the Oregon Trail. You might die of dysentery.

Sibyl: 31:18

Dysentery is funny. Taurus. Taurus. I see you you look pretty comfortable but there's a fish swimming in your ear. You might want to look to that.

Hopleus: 31:27

Is it Pisces?

Sibyl: 31:28

It's hard to tell? I think for some Taurus it might be Pisces

Penny: 31:31

That is so oddly specific considering all the other bullshit you've been spewing remarkable

Sibyl: 31:38

Gemini.

Penny: 31:39

She lets me record she lets me record in her closet.

Sibyl: 31:42

I do, yeah.

Penny: 31:44

Yes, thank you. I appreciate you so much do continue. Gemini, the twins.

Sibyl: 31:47

Yeah, I mean I think we owe it to our listeners to hear all of this

Penny: 31:51

Our listeners our... okay.

Sibyl: 31:53

Yep. Our listeners.

Penny: 31:54

Okay, I'm going to take a moment go ahead with Gemini. I'm going to breathe.

Sibyl: 31:57

Gemini Gemini. I see you with six eyes and four mouths. Perhaps you are seeing too much or speaking too much or speaking too much about what you're seeing. Or maybe that's just enough

Penny: 32:10

What the fuck. They're beholders now? Okay, just let's get this over with Oh god. Oh gods. Oh gods. Oh gods

Sibyl: 32:18

Cancer. Oh, this one doesn't make a lot of sense even to me. I see. I see a giant floating baby over a city Make of that what you will.

Penny: 32:29

I'd rather not? Please tell me the baby has a diaper life is shitting on all of us quite enough. Thank you.

Sibyl: 32:35

It does seem to have wings but the wings aren't very big. So it doesn't seem like it should be able to hold the baby up. It's a very clear vision. I just don't know what it means. There you go cancer,

Penny: 32:45

obviously. Okay, good luck cancer. Watch out for the giant baby that might shit on your head. Okay, what's after cancer?

Sibyl: 32:52

That would be Leo. Leo. I see you in hibernation around a candle flame. You look very rested. How nice for you, Leo.

Hopleus: 33:02

Sounds like another... Yes, yes. Yes. Staying and staying in bed. A lot of a lot of bed themes that you're more coherent visions seem to imply that one should switch stay in bed.

Sibyl: 33:12

Well, we are in the middle of a pandemic, so

Penny: 33:14

Hmm... coherent. Ok, what's next?

Sibyl: 33:18

Virgo. Virgo? There's another pillar of light. I mean, this moon dust really likes light themed visions. I'm it's interesting. I don't know if I'm going to do the moon dust again.

Penny: 33:27

Is that Is it legal? Is that legal in our state? No, I'm not even going to ask. No. Nope. Nope.

Sibyl: 33:34

I can see the police coming. So it doesn't really matter.

Hopleus: 33:37

Are they on horses

Penny: 33:39

Oh, if they're coming on horses? We've got a guy. We know a guy

Sibyl: 33:43

That is perfect. You're a good guy to know clearly.

Hopleus: 33:47

But just just just let me know. It would be my pleasure.

Sibyl: 33:49

Ah, definitely. Well, I will get your number when you have one. Virgo. You seem to be the pillar of light that keeps turning up in everyone else's visions. So good for you. I guess that's good. Your are someone's light and hope you're just radiating all of that light and hope I don't know if any of it is landing on you. But you're definitely you know, brightening other people's day except the people who are in shadow. I've already forgotten which sign that was.

Penny: 34:12

Oh, let's just say all of them. Why not? It's all just made up

Sibyl: 34:16

Libra. It looks like you're kind of in a den of snakes. No offense, Penny. Just, you know, That's what the vision is showing me. And usually

Hopleus: 34:26

Penny, are you a Libra?

Penny: 34:27

Um, no,

Sibyl: 34:28

I meant the snake.

Penny: 34:29

But yeah, I'm always surrounded by snakes.

Hopleus: 34:32

Yes, yes. Yeah.

Sibyl: 34:34

Usually in the metaphor world, being in a den of snakes isn't a great thing. It usually means that you got to be on the lookout for something that might happen. It's not always a good thing.

Penny: 34:44

Try having the den on your head at all times. Makes showering interesting.

Sibyl: 34:49

So I have seen with my third eye

Hopleus: 34:51

sounds like anxiety.

Penny: 34:53

I spy with my third eye

Sibyl: 34:55

I do all the time

Penny: 34:56

I know.

Sibyl: 34:57

And now Scorpio our last one. because we did start with Sagittarius so Scorpio I see a labyrinth, a blue labyrinth wrapped around you and surrounding you like a shawl. Yeah, good luck with that. That sounds like an interesting puzzle.

Penny: 35:13

Yeah, watch out for the Minotaur. Oh, sorry, Greek monster joke.

Hopleus: 35:22

I get it.

Sibyl: 35:24

We're all Greek aren't we.

Penny: 35:25

We are all Greek.

Sibyl: 35:27

I've got some Roman in me, too but

Penny: 35:28

We're all Greek to me.

Hopleus: 35:30

Where do you Rome?

Sibyl: 35:32

He's funny, too. Horse spooker and funny.

Penny: 35:36

I'm so glad you--right? I'm so glad you're our first guest

Hopleus: 35:41

yes, we're natural pranksters nothing's funnier than knocking over a horse or spooking a horse or telling a funny joke about it.

Sibyl: 35:49

That is hilarious.

Penny: 35:50

I will be teaching you about Instagram just Just promise me you you you really only disturb the humans that deserve it or disturb the horses of humans that deserve it. Like like that fella that created those self driving cars focus on the asshole. You

Sibyl: 36:06

know, my third eye tells us that he didn't actually create them.

Penny: 36:09

He hasn't really done shit.

Sibyl: 36:12

It's true.

Hopleus: 36:13

Then I don't even have him to thank for for the gift of spooking self driving cars.

Penny: 36:18

No, no, so, so many other awesome humans doing other things. Well, thank you. Thank you again. Hopleus and thank you Sybil for the use of the closet. And the agreed upon horoscopes segment that I let you do because you let me use the closet, because it's great for recording. Thank you both. That was oh, that was my first episode. I completed my first episode of the Gorgon Show and I hope you all return with us next time as we talk with other monsters and Oracles about what it's like to be a monster in this human world of ours. So please, may your walls never ooze and I have to go buy some donuts for my very very lovely quiet snakes.

Duncan: 37:06

Donuts!

Penny: 37:12

Yes, yes, Duncan. It's time for doughnuts.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai